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How To Female Ejaculate
by Alicia Guinn Babeland
Our bodies are capable of amazing things, and female ejaculation is just one of them. When a woman ejaculates, a clear watery fluid chemically similar to male prostatic fluid squirts out of her urethra. While some women ejaculate with an orgasm, others find that orgasm and ejaculation are two distinct events. In either case, G-spot action is generally essential to ejaculation, because it stimulates the production of ejaculate by the paraurethral glands.
Lots of folks are skeptical about female ejaculation, and even doubt the existence of the G-spot! If you need irrefutable proof that the G-spot and female ejaculation exists, check out the Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to the G-Spot DVD, where you'll get to see several folks experiencing the joys of the G-spot. It's a movie that could change your life (or at least your sex life!).
Some women ejaculate easily, and find that they have actually taught themselves to hold back from ejaculating because they thought their ejaculate was urine. Not everyone ejaculates, but if you want to try and learn how, follow these simple steps:
Feel the Burn
Pelvic muscle tone seems to play a part in whether someone ejaculates or not. If you've never done PC muscle exercises, check out How to Exercise Your PC Muscles. For ejaculation, it's important to learn to relax as well as contract your PC (pubococcygeus) muscles. Relaxing or pushing out with your PC muscles will allow ejaculate to flow out of the urethra. Get in touch with your PC muscles and see whether they're usually relaxed or tight. If the muscles are tense, learn to relax your pelvic floor by doing PC muscle exercises. You can start practicing right now while you finish reading this article.
Take the Plunge
Another essential part of female ejaculation is G-spot stimulation. If you enjoy penetration, part of that feel-good feeling is probably a G-spot sensation. G-spot exploration is more about rewiring your thinking about your own body than it is a quest for some secret "button" you've never noticed before.
- First, take some time to get aroused. Masturbate the way you normally would. Put on a sexy DVD. Take out that well-loved collection of erotica, or just luxuriate in one of your favorite fantasies. Before you start looking for your G-spot, have an orgasm or two to congratulate yourself for being such an intrepid G-spot explorer! If you don't have multiple orgasms, tease yourself to a high plateau of arousal. When you're all warmed up, your G-spot will be easier to feel because it swells with blood and fluid during arousal.
- Lube up your fingers and let them do the walking. Feel the relatively smooth walls of the vaginal canal. Touch your cervix if it's within reach. If you've never felt around your own vagina before, take some time to touch the different areas. Press against the vaginal walls. Notice the texture of the tissue and how it feels when you touch it.
- Next, focus on the front wall of the vaginal canal (that's the one nearest your belly button). About one or two inches in, the surface will feel ridged and rough compared to the rest of the vaginal tissue. Press against that tissue and see how it feels. It might not feel like much. It might feel sensitive or uncomfortable. It might remind you of the sensation that tells you that you need to pee. It might feel great! Press harder and feel around for your pubic bone. If you can hook your finger behind it, see how that feels too. Surprise! You've just found your G-spot! The rough and ridgy area we've explored on the front vaginal wall is the G-spot, also known as the urethral sponge or the female prostate. Think of it as a G-area rather than just one little spot.
- Add a toy. Fingers are suitable G-spot stimulators, though a lot of folks find that it's easier to reach your own G-spot with toys, and that they provide good, firm stimulation. Any dildo or vibrator with a firm curve is a great G-spot option. Some of our favorites include the Babeland Orchid G and the Babeland Nubby G, along with great options like the Gigi and the weighty, non-vibrating Njoy Pure Wand. Experiment with stimulating your G-spot, and find stimulation that feels right for you.
Let it Flow
Some women will find that they naturally ejaculate with G-spot stimulation. For others, a few more steps are involved in teaching your body to ejaculate.
- Before stimulating your G-spot, empty your bladder. A lot of women don't let themselves ejaculate because they worry about urinating. If your bladder is empty, you won't have to worry about peeing in your bed. If you're aroused, stimulating your G-spot, and feel a sensation similar to the need to pee, continue with the stimulation and bear down with your PC muscles. You might ejaculate.
- Minimize mess, maximize enjoyment! For a lot of women, the fear of peeing is so ingrained that it takes a little more work to overcome. If you're in bed, consider putting a towel or two under your butt. If you're still plagued by pee-phobia, take your ejaculation exploration to the bathroom. You can put a few towels on the floor or try out the bathtub! Find a situation that will allow you to trust your body. And make a bargain with yourself: if you pee, you pee. No big deal. After all, all that stimulation felt great, right? If you work through that pee feeling, relax, and then ejaculate, give yourself a high-five! If you're worried about the mess, keep in mind that the amount of ejaculate is typically no more than a teaspoon or two.
- Make a conscious effort to ejaculate. If you're stimulating your G-spot, relaxing your PC muscles, and riding that "something is going to happen" feeling but nothing's going, push out with your PC muscles. Most likely, you'll push out the ejaculate. And you'll squirt or sprinkle rather than gush.
- Add clit stimulation. Many women find that G-spot stimulation feels great, but that added clit stimulation, via tongues, hand, or vibrator, will take them over the top. Try a vibrator on your clit and a curved dildo like the Rose G-Spotter in your vagina if you're by yourself, and see what happens.
What happens if after all this exploration, you don't like G-spot stimulation or you didn't ejaculate? In the process, you've collected a lot of new information about your body and what you like during sex. It's worth checking back in with your G-spot occasionally — sometimes G-spot sensitivity changes with your monthly cycle, or over a lifetime. Don't miss out on making your own splashy fun!
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