Why Do People Cheat

Is one partner not enough?

Here, have some sexy fun without cheating:

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From Alexis
For the last 17 years of my life, I have been with the same man. Getting up at 4 a.m. to fix his breakfast, lunch and send him off to work. At 5 p.m. his dinner was waiting on the table. House and clothes cleaned and pressed. Kids taken care of. Anytime he wanted sex I was there for him, but he would come home and start an arguement so he could storm out to be with his ever changing flavor of the month. Not coming home till it was time to go to work and expecting his breakfast and lunch to be ready to go.

Insulting me became a hobby too thin, too fat. His complements would be, you're not the best and you're not the worst. You're not the most beautiful but not the ugliest. And when I would be sad or cry because of the hurt. He would laugh. 

Three years ago I got a new job and met a wonderful man who made me laugh and would tell me how beautiful my smile was, and how he could see my smile long after I was gone. He told me that he wanted to do things with me he had never done before and couldn't figure out why he want to do those things. He is married and his wife was having an affair. (misery loves company) His wife would tell him that when he made love to her it made her sick to her stomach. 

We became close friends. We could read each other's thoughts, finish each other's sentences. We helped each other through deep depression. Then one day we ran into each other coming around a corner and it startled me and made me scream. He hugged me, from there it became stolen kisses and etc.... he told me he was in love with me and I fell hard for him. 

We spend all the time we could Monday thru Friday together. New Years Eve we spent 4 hours together. Right after New Years we spent the night in a motel. As of today my special friend got a new job and goes from state to state. I have not seen him since before Easter. This was hard on me and one night I broke down and told the man I live with that I loved another. He looked at me and shrugged and said I should have left with him.( by the way I own the house) 

My friend gave me back someone I had lost along time ago and that was ME. I know in my heart it was wrong, but after years and years of trying and trying to find love in someone who just want everything from me and not giving anything back in return and cheated on me every chance he got. 

I don't feel remorse, guilt or regret. Today I feel alive because of the affair. I was not looking for an affair, it just happened.

From Rob
Wives cheat as well as husbands and it's a symptom of a bigger problem in the marriage - lack of love and respect, lack of interest in sex, lack of honesty. If there is a problem some open discussion is crucial and that's what my wife and I did a few years ago.

We're in our late fifties and married for almost 30 years, and two years ago I found myself facing an awful fact - my wife, Jen, had lost complete interest in sex with me. I ended up having sex with hookers in motels, then discovered Jen was having an affair with an old family friend, a younger guy. After a massive argument we calmed down and discussed what we were to do. The discussion revealed that she was still in love with me (despite the lack of interest in sex), didn't want a divorce, didn't want to destroy the 'happy home'. The problem, she said, was that she didn't like having sex with me. 

After discussing that particular news for a good hour, we came to the view that we should consider partner swapping. Jen wasn't keen, believing it to be very tacky, but said she'd give it a try. That was two years ago and today we are two very happy swingers, our sex is with the couples we meet but we are back on track with a very happy and stable marriage, re-inventing ourselves with a new lifestyle that suits us both, one that doesn't include either of us cheating.

From Jack
For the same reason women cheat - we're horny and needy. But I don't think men cheat any more than women, and it does get old hearing over and over that men are the cheaters. A little balance would be nice.

From Paul
Many men cheat because they are married to self centered women who do not listen or do not care about hubbie's likes or dislikes. Women who pretend to base things around some sort of Puritanism. Other women seem to think they own the only vagina on Earth and use it as a weapon. It usually backfires.

Some men also cheat because they are jerks.

From David
After almost 25 years of marriage, I no longer believe that the whole idea of commitment has anything to do with sex. Yet somehow, sex is the center of ideas that tie us together around "being committed". I think it is a big falsehood. Commitment is being there, totally, 100%. 

That said, I also have recognized that non-aligned libidos are a real problem. For me, exploration is a goal. Alternative sexualities are essential, and at times I feel I am going totally nuts. I'm working my way slowly to a place here I feel OK about suggesting kink, anal and, I hope, other sex experiences. As one person here put it life is short. Live it.

From Rich48
I find this topic very annoying. Exactly who are these men cheating with? If we are heterosexual, then we can assume women. Recent surveys have found that more women are cheating than men. So, it takes two to cheat, but it's always the guy. My wife has a habit of pointing out prominent men that cheat, telling me they are scum. (You know, think Rudy Guilliani or Bill Clinton.) Yes dear, they are. But exactly who were they fucking? Another married woman? Isn't she scum too?

I have been married almost 22 years and I have never physically cheated. Have I never looked at another woman and wondered what it would be like with them? Of course. I am human. And there is a fine line between fantasy and reality and day dreaming and emotional or physical cheating. During the course of my job, I have the opportunity to spend long periods of time in peoples homes. Primarily, I come mostly in contact with the lady of the house. I have been hit on quite a few times. And some of those ladies were the kind I find very attractive. Why were they inclined to cheat? Their husbands make a lot of money. But this requires long hours at the office. In a word they are lonely! The fact that I can spend long hours talking to them while I am working, that I can help them carry the groceries in from the car when I happen to be outside at my truck (and something I do just out of courtesy) really can work magic. On quite a number of occasions these women have been desperate to find more work for me so I will not leave. While flattering, I usually do my best to bolt before anything has a chance to happen.

Recently, I had the opportunity to work for a woman 13 years younger than me. She is quite beautiful and has a very sunny disposition. We really hit it off and I would bring a bagel in the morning for her daughter who was teething. She loves chocolate and she would buy it while out shopping and bring it back and share it with me. It was very clear to me that I was becoming very attracted to her. But it was more an emotional bond that we formed. Unlike the other women, she never made any sexual remarks, never showed any desire. And yet there was this emotional closeness that I have never experienced in anything other than a relationship. (And sometimes not even then.) I do find myself looking forward to working for them again. I know nothing will happen physically, but it a pleasant place to be. Do I feel guilty. Yes. I know my wife would be angry if she knew I felt this way. I have talked to her about it at length, kind of skirting how I feel. I guess being open about it somehow makes it better. I fell into the reverse trap; things have been crazy at home. My wife is very busy with her job. And I fell for the attention of another women.

So my advice? Ladies, pay attention to your man. Men, pay attention to the lady in your life. Talk to her. Listen. I mean really listen to her and interact with her. Give her some attention. Be nice to her and do something unexpected. And your relationship will be stronger. And you might just be excited by him / her too!

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