Losing Your Virginity

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From Anonymous
I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to an older guy. I was at his house and we were just chillin', watching movies. We started talking and I suggested that the movie was boring so he turned it off. We started kissing and engaging in foreplay (which was interesting)..we stopped and he asked me if I was a virgin..I told him yeah.  So he said what's up? and I was sitting there like wtf...after a minute or two of silence we engaged in foreplay again...so he asked me if he could be my first...so I was like I don't know. So he said you always remember your first...so I gave in and I lost my virginity that night.

After the first few minutes of pain...it hurt so much I had to scoot back on the bed so I could breathe for a second. He didn't get in all the way and we didn't have an orgasm, but I bled. My first time is something I'm not too proud of because I felt that I should have waited for that special person. I cried a lot that night...he wasn't anything to me and I wasn't anything to him either.

From Stacy
I was 14 when I lost my virginity.  To be honest, it was with a guy I had just met (he had no idea I was a virgin).  A total one night stand. I was (and still am) an avid reader of romance and erotica stories so I was expecting fireworks and for the earth to move.  None of that happened and I was highly disappointed. 

Highly disappointed that is, until I met my steady high school sweetheart about a year after I lost my virginity.  He was the first one to bring me to orgasm.  The earth really did move and I really did see fireworks. I've LOVED sex ever since.

My husband (no, I didn't marry my high school sweetheart) and I have been married for almost 16 years now (he's a much older man...14 years older than me) knows EXACTLY how to push my buttons and get me off....he did from the very first night we slept together.

From Anonymous
I'm 22 and I lost my virginity a couple of days ago with an old friend of mine. The odd part is that although I enjoy fooling around with this guy, I feel nothing for him beyond friendship. But regardless, I trust him and admire his patience. He's been vying for me for at least a year now, and a couple of weeks ago I invited him over to watch a movie. At some point he kissed me. And cliche as it may be, one thing led to another and we ended up naked in my room. We didn't have sex that day but did engage in a lot of oral and even finger fucking. He is the first man to ever touch me and see me naked. I was surprised by how comfortable I was able to be with him and by how much I enjoyed his tongue and his fingers on my body.

Then, a few days he slowly climbing on top of me, he rubbed his penis on my vagina and then gently slipped it in. I was greatly surprised by how much it didn't hurt. In fact, it didn't hurt at all. I was incredibly wet at the time of penetration and he slipped in very easily. I was able to enjoy it straight away, even asking him to go faster. I'd heard that virgins rarely enjoy their first time, so I was surprised by how much I did. It was amazing and felt wonderful. He finished before I did, but was kind enough to help me manually. After it was over he told me "well, you're not a virgin anymore, how do you feel?" I told him I felt all happy and grown up. We lay next to each other for a spell and just talked as any normal friends would.

I've very happy that I chose him. He is incredibly patient and knew to start gentle, even though it turns out I like it rough. Everything was done at my own pace and he never pushed me once. Some say its odd that I don't have any feelings for him, but in all honesty, I don't think I could've picked a better man to ease me into sex. I look forward to playing with him again soon.

From Trisha
I lost my virginity at 14 to a slightly older boy. Well, he was big and I was really tight and it hurt like hell, even with lube. I would have never thought that it would become so pleasurable. Each time we had sex it hurt less, until it didn't hurt at all. I am now 36 and it seems like I am horny all the time. And yes, I do like a well endowed man. So to all the girls, yes it might hurt some but after a few times you're going to love it!

From Lily
I lost my virginity a week after I turned 17, with my boyfriend of one year. We were at his family's camp in Maine and everyone was out for the afternoon, doing errands or at the beach. We had spent the last year rolling around with each other and nearly having sex many times. We would be rubbing against each other, sometimes with clothes, sometimes without, and the tip of his penis would nudge inside me.

We hadn't exactly decided that this would be the afternoon that I lost my virginity. He had already slept with several people and was two years older than me. But this time we found ourselves in rubbing naked against each other, his penis pushing into me, my hymen already half broken. I remember looking at each other and it seemed like we were both thinking "This is it! One more thrust!" What I didn't expect was that my hymen wasn't completely broken, so there was some pain, but we talked through it and kept going. Then it started to feel... interesting. He came inside me and he wasn't wearing a condom (smart teenagers, eh?).

The rest of the day I felt euphoric, like I was let onto this huge secret that I'd been waiting and waiting to take part of. The rest of that vacation we'd have sex at any chance we had. Honestly, his parents would step out of the room and he'd pull his cock through the leg of his shorts and we'd ease it inside me. Needless to say we were totally negligent about birth control. It was a good experience. He was a lot of fun and I was lucky to be with someone who was patient and encouraging and sexy.

From Anonymous
My first time was when I was 21 years old. My boyfriend was 3 yrs. younger but it didn't matter at all. To make a long story short it happened in a quite spot in the near by park.  In the back seat of his car.  I loved him and trusted him very much. There was lots of pain but no bleeding. He was very gentle with me. I don't believe that there is a way to escape the pain of sex for the fist time as a female. 

He and I are still together and very much in love. My advice is to wait. I know its hard to wait but it's so worth it. To lay down and give up all control is a very hard thing to do. I think that you need to trust the man 100% and able to communicate with him.  If not you will be sorry that you didn't wait. Sex is a wonderful thing when you love one another. You can feel the spiritual part of it and not just the feeling of great pleasure. Young women please take my advice.

From Joni Nicole
I was young when I lost it to a very loving and gentle man. He took the time to make sure that I was ready and when he gently put it in me it was heaven! Yes it did hurt and I did bleed a bit but the pain lasted just for a minute or two. The next morning I was just a little sore and he made love to me again. wow! After that first time wow! Even now at 52 I still enjoy the memory of a wonderful time.

From Cat
My first time was neither a horror story or mind blowingly amazing. To begin with it hurt so much that I couldn't even get his penis in, after a bit we tried again and it hurt but much less. As I accommodated him he moved in a bit further and further each time until he started thrusting very gently. It only hurt at the deepest part of each thrust, then that pain gave way, not to pleasure but to 'oh, its not too bad"! I was not with a guy I loved, just one that I liked - to be honest I just wanted to 'lose it' before I hit 20, and he was nice, gently and caring.

From Mary
Anonymous [see entry below], doesn't sound like your crazy to me. Actually you sound pretty level-headed about what went wrong and why. The only problem is that you think you let HIM down. For chrissake, what's with that?! You were the one hurting, upset, disappointed, not him. You didn't let him down. 

Why women feel they have to take the blame for lousy uncomfortable sex is simply beyond me. It's takes two to tango, so probably you both blew it (no pun intended), and both should shoulder the blame for a bad experience. Figure if you (hopefully both of you) learned something from the lousy experience, then it's not a mistake anymore. 

From Anonymous
Wow...it really makes me feel so much better reading everyone else's postings. I just lost my virginity, I'm 19, and like a lot of others on this page, I was greatly disappointed. It was nothing like I ever imagined it would be. I didn't know the guy as well as I should have, not that he wasn't great. But I felt that it was a mistake. It hurt, quite a bit, and I was drunk. Wrong thing to do. 

Afterwards I slept, but woke up about an hour later...and felt paralyzed. Not really knowing what to do with myself, and feeling sorry that I started the whole thing in the first place. Too spontaneous. I felt like I let him down somehow because it wasn't the fairy tale that I thought it would be. Am I crazy?

From Berlin
My first time was amazing. The guy I lost my virginity to was 22 at the time. I have known him for 3 years now, we live in different cities but I go visit him a whole lot! He is tall, hot and very experienced. The first time we had sex, I was a bit drunk, but that was part of the plan. I was looking forward to that all night and when we finally got to his place I got a little scared.

I just let things happen, after a while I didn’t even notice that I was naked in his kitchen! To begin with, I had never been fingered or tried oral so when his huge cock started to come into me, I grabbed his shoulders as hard as I could and he realized I was a virgin. After that, he became much more gentile and he came inside me really slowly. I can’t say I enjoyed him inside of me but I loved the fact that I lost my virginity to my dream boy.

From Lilya
I lost my virginity when I was in college. I had been going out with my boyfriend for a month and I was completely smitten with him. After the first time we had sex I felt a little sore and stretched the next day. The second time we got really into it and he pushed in much deeper than the first time. It was only slightly sore but I did bleed this time. I was more embarrassed than anything else as I hadn't told him that I was a virgin. He was so considerate, understanding and sweet to me. I was terribly worried about pain the following day but there wasn't any.

I know it does seem to be a cliché to say that you should wait for someone you love but it really feels great when it is with someone you trust as I'm still with him and our sex life is now spectacular.

From SarahB
There are so many horror stories here! Mine wasn't like that at all. I was 19, I'd fancied this older guy for ages, we flirted a lot one day we got together. I'm still with him too. The first night together, I was swept off my feet by him (literally). He was much more experienced than me and gave me oral until I came. Although I'd never done it before I returned the favour and was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. We didn't have sex but we both came, and it was very intimate and passionate.

The second night, we messed around for ages and then he suggested getting a condom. He's kinda large and I was quite scared when I saw him putting on the condom, wondering how much it was gonna hurt inside me. When he was pushing inside me for the first time it hurt, but he got all the way in and, even though it was a little uncomfortable it felt good too. He was very gentle and when he came, he stayed inside me and fingered me until I came too. After that it only felt a little uncomfortable on initial penetration for the next two or three times, but he made me orgasm.

I think the important thing is to be with somebody that you love and absolutely trust. Whatever pain I experienced, it felt good that I was experiencing it for him. I guess had he just dumped me afterwards it would have been horrible, but instead it was beautiful.

From Suzie
Wow, I'm kinda jealous of everyone that's written that at least knew when they'd lost their virginity! I'm 23 now and in a fantastic sexual relationship, but I have so many fantasies about losing my virginity - those unrealistic romance novels turn me on, even though I know they're not accurate.

I've always been very sexual, and when my partner and I got together it wasn't long before we were touching and doing oral sex and things like that, then as soon as I was on the pill I wanted him inside me. Trouble was, even though he's nearly twenty years older than me, he's still fairly inexperienced and wasn't that confident. I was tight and he couldn't get inside me, but the thought made him come real quick, so we had to stop trying. We tried a few more times with no success. Then I thought I'd lost my virginity when I could feel that he was well between my lips and I asked him afterwards 'What just happened?' and he said 'You know what' - I was left thinking, 'well, that wasn't so bad, but it wasn't so good either!' Later I realised that he hadn't actually been inside me at all! He just meant that I'd made him come!

Clearly, this wasn't so satisfactory, so we decided to try and relax my muscles, which I now realise were not abnormal, thanks to reading everyone else's postings. So I lost my virginity to a small vibrator...hardly the fantasy scenario. That did hurt - a lot, but really turned me on as well. Eventually he got me loose and wet enough that, after being together sexually for over a year, he finally managed to get inside me. I loved it, the thought of it, the feel of his hips so close to mine etc, but I couldn't help wishing losing my virginity had been a bit different.

From Single in New York
Wow! loosing your virginity is hell!  I guess I didn't really know what to expect. I'm 20 years of age ad I lost it to a family friend on holiday. I had only known him for 5 days and then we did it! It was beautiful the way it happened, but scary with the actual copulation of intimate love making. I was shaking like a leaf, it hurt so bad that the pain is indescribable (it makes me wonder how young girls do it?)..I cried and yield during the process, we were both sweating like mad... I tensed up pretty bad...which makes it worse ladies...cause the muscles in your vaginal wall when tensed makes it a forced entry...and that's no good. 

It wasn't rushed really, we both wanted it! But so many things were racing trough my mind, how deep can this guy go, am I doing it right, is this the right thing to do..blah blah!..at some points I didn't feel it could go anymore...he kept at it, which made me even more afraid and I was in sooo much pain...I guess I wasn't as horny as I wanted to be. Foreplay was limited so that could have been why I didn't enjoy it either. 

I bleed and it was uncomfortable! But I don't know what's worse...being a virgin or you've done it for the first time, but not quite sure if you've done it!..cause I bleed when we had sex, but it didn't go all the way in...I got like 1/4 of it. And on top of it some people's hymens don't break all the way on their first try...so I'm shit scared for the second round...and don't no when that's gonna be at all!...but good luck to the virgins..relax, protect yourself (the pill and condoms) is my best advice!

From Anonymous
Unlike many of the posts on this topic, losing my virginity was a very positive experience. At the time I had just turned 18 and had been with my boyfriend for the last six months. We had been close friends for many years before that and very openly communicated with each other. I always was very comfortabe in my sexuality and made an effort to explore, read, and learn about as much as I could. 

Within those prior 6 months before intercourse we had explored fingering, oral sex, and variations on that thoroughly. I never experienced pain from any of these activities and because he was such an attentive lover, derived great pleasure from them as well. I was very eager to take the next step, and I actually had to convince him due to his religious convictions. However, he did come around and we made a day of it. We bought sexy lingerie, condoms and went in with a very positive attitude. I knew that it wouldn't hurt and it didn't at all. We had lots of foreplay beforehand and didn't rush. 

While I did not come the first time in missionary and didn't really experience pleasure, it did not hurt at all and there was no discomfort. We tried again later with me on top, but I couldn't really get the right motion. But at last, on our third attempt, which was actually doggy style, he lasted for about 25 minutes and I had multiple orgasms. We both collapsed after that as both out legs were shaking from the exertion.

So, in short, while first times aren't how they are portrayed in erotic novels, the experience is what you make of it. Just remember, it's important that there's trust, communication, respect, and lots of varied sexual activity with your partner before you decide to have sex. Learn to pleasure each other via hands and mouth before taking the plunge. And sex, like anything, requires practice. Hitting the right spot, gaining the right rhythm, learning what works for both of you is something that has to be learned and explored. It's been over a year since I lost my virginity and my lover and I are still going strong. My personal motto is "Variety, variety, variety!" Keep it fresh and keep it fun!

From Sheila b
Well well well. Losing my virginity was hell. My first time was at my sister's graduation party (at the time I was 16 and still a virgin). The boy I was mooning over (he was 18) for the past couple of years was finally paying attention to me. So I started playing big girl by drinking and dancing and flirting with older guys (much older guys). Anyway, it was nearing time for my curfew so I went on the porch to get my bearings together and low and behold this boy decides to come out as well. I was 16 so I was extremely naive he started saying how he always liked me and I'm different from all those other girls. And we started kissing and lifting my skirt. 

Conveniently the porch was connected to a bedroom (now how did he know that) we stripped and he kissed my breast and went lower on me. It felt good. But when it came down to the actual penetration it felt as if I was punched in the gut. And I seriously thought having my period was bad but that was terrible. He pulled out just before he came. And then he toppled right over me and a few minutes later went to sleep. I was up and decided to push him off of me. My mistake he woke up again and this time when I said no I have to go he laughed held my hands over my head and did it again. 

When school started again I noticed the whole foot ball team was making a pass at me (strange isn't it that before they never noticed me) and every time I looked the boy in the eye he smiled and looked away. But that was my story.

From Sarah
I felt I had the right guy, I was 17 and I thought he was the love of my life, we knew each other for 4 months and thought it was time to make love to each other. It felt wonderful and we did it for 3 hours, we did not get bored or sore because we came together and it felt like years of orgasms right after the other. He dumped me 2 days after because all he ever wanted was my virginity. I was single ever since and now I'm 43

From Angel
Well, Last night I slept with my boyfriend. It just sorta happened and it was sweet and he stopped when I told him to because the pain was just to much. Then all night I was sore and we had sex again this morning and it was better this time than last. I hope every time keeps getting better. He is really gentle and sweet.

From Anonymous
I'm 29, and I gave my virginity away last night to one of my brothers' best-friends (who is 36). We've been together now and in love, secretly, for six months. He is my first true love!

He was so gentle and pleasing; I actually came about four times before intercourse. Ooh, he gives such good cunnilingus! Anyway, before we began intercourse, he kissed and licked the entrance to my vagina (I'll never forget the sensation!) and rubbed his erect penis against my clitoris moving me into another orgasm. In the middle of this orgasm, he squeezed my clit as he slowly entered my vagina. The sensation sent me over the edge and even though I felt the fullness of his penis, I felt no pain. When he began thrusting, I surprised both of us by contracting around him until we both came to climax together.

This morning, I was very sore. After we did it again and slept a few more hours, he drew a warm bath for me and massaged all my sensitive areas. I never imagined my first time to be so beautiful!

From Dragon Girl
Count your blessings, you lucky girls out there who feel little to no pain their first time. Count them and gloat. My first time hurt like a mother, and I haven't even gotten to the second time yet. There is no describing this pain. Plus, it doesn't just go away. All freakin day today, right now even, it aches. I have a low pain tolerance. It bloody HURTS like nobody's business. My lover didn't even go in all the way. Half way, with a condom. It hurts. I'll do it again with him, soon. It will hurt me again. But I want to experience pleasure. And since I've gone this far, there's no way I'm turning back before I realize this wonderful feeling sex gives you. No way.

I'm going to go through more pain, yes. Probably a lot lot more than I would ever want or expect. But this is a choice I make. With a man I've chosen. I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't regret this at all. I would go through the pain again just to be with him. Choice makes a wonderful difference. But it hurts so bloody much! It hurts when I'm just thinking about it!

From Anonymous
Some are born without a hymen...like me for instance.. and no I didn't ever rip it... trust me I'd kinda know if I did.. ok maybe once or twice but it was accidents and I would have bled which I did not ever (at least not on my monthly thing) heck I didn't even know what the hell people meant when they said hymen till I read up on it cause I don't have one period end of story.

From Anonymous
Losing my virginity sucked in the worst way. I was 15, at a party and had fallen asleep (passed out?). Next thing I knew my "date" was pushing himself inside me. Yes, this is date-rape folks. Not fun. I don't remember bleeding but I can tell you it hurt for days and I could barely sit the next day. When I finally did choose to have sex I had no problem being intimate at all. That surprised me because my first experience was so horrid. My first "chosen" experience was kind of awkward but he was older and had more practice so was able to help me along.

I kind of envy women who choose when and to whom they wish to give their virginity to. When I read those romance novels (past-tense) they piss me off because they just seem so phony. I know my experience was hardly the norm (although I'm shocked at how common date-rape actually is) it still doesn't seem like anyone could not just scream from the pain of it. I guess it's true for some people though since I'm reading about here on the site. Anyhow, those are just some of my thoughts on it...

From Amadom
There was no pain and no blood. I hadn't been in a hurry to lose my virginity and by the time I got round to it years of riding horses and push bikes had done their job. Those of my friends who were also out of their teens when they lost their V report similar experiences. I'd bought a whole shelf of sex guides by this time and knew how to push the right buttons. The first time was still pretty dull for me although he really enjoyed it. Even if you've read all the books and you've practiced your oral and manual techniques on a banana the first time nerves will get to you.

From Anonymous
I was (barely) 19, and had been dating a guy a few yrs older than I was for a month or so. (We've been together for over 20 yrs now) he'd had 4 other partners before me, none of them lasting relationships.