Meaningless Sex

Would You Indulge Or Avoid?

Here's some meaningless good fun...

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From Bob
I really don't think there is anything such as meaningless sex. My wife and I occasionally partner swap with some close friends and we could say it is meaningless in that neither of us is going to bring our 30 year marriage to an end with falling in love with another and going off with them. But when we swap partners with our friends our sex is not loveless. It is very physical, involving, exciting, enjoyable and very satisfying.

As my wife says, if the man she is partnering with is going to explode inside her vagina, anus or mouth with his precious seed then it doesn't happen in a cold heartless or cynical way. The mutual kissing, touching, sucking all are genuine displays of love and desire, and a deep wish to satisfy as well be satisfied. With such a lot of passion, love and ecstasy enjoyed by us and all our friends during sex then meaningless sex surely can't seriously exist as a concept.

From Josie
My husband and I are about to celebrate thirty years of marriage and give or take the odd fling we've both been very faithful to each other. We love each other, we are kind, considerate, even passionate with each other, and both old enough to know that we'd do very little to destabilize our marriage.

Having said that, we have recently started to 'swing' with some other couples, some our age, two couples younger than us, plus two single males. As a result we are now both very active sexually and 'swinging' appears to be a good fit for our current lifestyle - we both own our own businesses and are now in process of selling out to business partners, in preparation for an increase in free time and correcting our work-life balance.

I understand the principle of meaningless sex but I'm not absolutely sure it can be applied universally without any pre-conditions. The two single men we've 'swung' with in MMF scenarios have both asked to see me 'off line' as it were. My husband has given me the 'ok' to see one of them and while I have no intention of letting the relationship with this younger guy grow into anything other than recreational sex for the sake of non-commital pleasure, I have to admit that in making love to both these young men, both reasonably good looking, both well endowed, there was the very basis of a spark of being emotionally involved.

In other words, I don't think I can 'fuck for the sake of fucking'. I need to be loved and love back and while I have no doubt that both men wish no emotional involvement with me, I will act during our love-making as if I am a person, not just a pussy to be fucked.

From P
In over thirty year of marriage I didn't know what a slut my wife (K) was or could be.  It certainly opened my eyes and has given our sex life an amazing boost and strengthened our marriage and partnership beyond measure.  It started when K and I went to a spa for the weekend, a three day program of detox treatments and tough love leaf and carrot meals.  An ice-breaker Friday evening meet up introduced us to our fellow detoxers, all thirtiesomethings, a good twenty years younger than us although we were both complimented on our good looks and slim figures (K has breast implants so has very perky boobs). 

After dinner we went for a sauna then into the Jacuzzi where we met up again with some of our new friends.  The following day the course began in earnest, the day made up of various treatments and very severe meals.  At the end of the afternoon treatments I went looking for K, eventually finding her in the Jacuzzi, sandwiched between hubby J and wife T, a couple we'd met at the ice breaker and in the Jacuzzi the night before.  Both wives were topless, quite a breakthrough for K who normally is very modest when it comes to her boobs but for me a welcome development. 

All three told me I had to go commando to get in the tub, again another breakthrough for K, her relaxed mode and happy, smiling face very encouraging.  Once naked, T gave my (semi-erect) penis (it was a very sexually arousing moment), a long hard look and greeted it with a 'Hey, Big Boy!' K adding something along the lines of 'Yep, he's not bad, eh?!'  Once in the tub alongside T we chatted while J chatted to K.  After a few minutes, without warning, I felt T's hand around my penis and it quickly went from semi-erect to fully erect.  'Well, what are we going to do with that?'  I had no answer so she asked another, 'What do you think your wife would like?'  I had no reason for saying it but I did, 'I'm sure she'd dig being fucked by your husband.  Ask her.'  T asked and K agreed but then I didn't know until later she was massaging J's penis. 

Cut a long story short and five minutes later we were in J and T's room, K on one bed her ass being fucked by J and me on the other bed, face up with T riding me, my penis fat and long inside her pussy. 

Back in our own room we discussed every last second of it, me totalled by my wife the slut, our own lovemaking that night out of this world, me very pleased at K's new found sexual confidence.  It is only meaningless sex but a few months later and I have watched my wonderfully newly sexually liberated wife being pussy and ass fucked by a succession of men, sucking them off and swallowing each last drop of their cum, inviting me to join in, either being sucked by her as our friend fucks her or a double penetration, her favorite.

From Liz
I recently went to a party on my own for the first time in living memory. My husband meant to accompany me but his mother had fallen ill and he wanted to spend the evening at her bedside. I'm no oil painting, but certainly not an ogre, with a slim figure, attractive face, and for the bash I wore my party gear, my lbd, perhaps a little too short for a lady in her fifties, hold up stockings, high heels.

After an hour or so chatting to friends I found myself in conversation with this very good looking young man. He was very friendly, personable, intelligent and made me laugh. When someone switched the rock music for the ballads we danced and as I became aware that he had an erection, instead of recoiling I uncharacteristically savoured his 'pleased to see me' moment, perhaps hiding in the room's dim candlelight. I put my hands around his shoulders and within a few moments we began to kiss, quite passionately. He asked if we should 'find somewhere' and I remember saying 'yes, why don't we', completely uncaring that friends of me and my husband were still at the party and might wonder what I was doing picking up a young man.

The sex was not memorable but it was my very first extra marital sex and very significant for me and returning to the party with panties soaked in semen (despite tissues) was a strangely empowering feeling. It was 'meaningless sex' but very important for me.

From Belle
If, and I mean a big if, two people can meet in the bedroom with the understanding of what their boundaries are, then meaningless sex can be the best sex one can experience.

Imagine sex where there are no feelings to be hurt. It is a complete release of one's inhibitions, no expectations of the other. Intense erotica and passion in an environment where it is safe to let go.

Don't knock it if you haven't tried it. Sex without emotion can be the most liberating and satisfying type of relationship. It doesn't demean the importance of making love with your soul mate but is on a whole different level altogether.

From TD
Acting on the belief that sex is meaningless or that sex is just sex just might wreck your life, give you a life crisis you don't want, impact your life in ways you might not want, or just ruin you life.

Sure I have plenty of fantasies and desire, butt I don't believe in engaging in "meaningless sex". I don't want someone else's disease floating around in my body the rest of my life. I'm not a virgin and I not above having fantasies having a little fun.

It's a gift to the woman I plan to marry. She doesn't have to worry about catching any STDs from me. Engaging in meaningless sex is not a character trait I value in myself or anyone else. But if I did the person knows I have slept around. Some STDs are transmittable even with a condom. Using a condom doesn't prevent some STDs from being spread.

From Susan
For many couples once they survive beyond bringing up their children, reaching mid-age with good looks and attractive bodies, they also get less exercised about intense fidelity within a relationship. I don't necessarily mean illicit affairs, although they are a big part of relationships, marriages often surviving them. Many opt to swing with other couples or, often at the wife's behest, engage in MMF activities with a younger man. 

Whatever it is, the point is that mid-age couples should not abandon sex, or opt for infrequent sex, but actively engage with others in enjoying recreational sex that is for fun not scoring points. It keeps you young in heart and mind, active, appreciating life. My husband and I are as much in love today as on our wedding day but every weekend we 'swing' with other couples and our active extra-marital sex is meaningless in that it doesn't threaten our marriage but meaningful in that it actively helps keep it sharp, fun and challenging.

From Vincent
We live in the UK where wearing of seamed stockings is more popular than most other countries but still not that common thanks to tights. My wife (47) has started to wear stockings with seams almost every day following my giving her half a dozen pairs and some sexy undies for Christmas, mainly as a 'thank you' for coming down in weight from 14 to 12 stones and still falling. 

My wife works as a senior manager in HR for a large insurance company and before the stockings was un-noticed but since has had every guy queuing up to date her plus requests for photographic modelling. She's said 'no' to those requests but has dated a few of the men and I admit to enjoying my wife telling me much later what she and her date got up to. Now, a senior manager has taken interest in my wife and we both suspect that she could be in line for promotion which is important to her since she was passed over last summer. I've told her that if two or three meaningless sex sessions with this man produce her promotion then she should go for it. 

She's more wary but for other reasons, not the sex since she enjoys it a lot, but more ethical ones, worried about the gossip, if it ever got out. It's up to her but as the sex between her and this guy is agenda-driven, his and hers, I can't see the problem. It's not love, it's totally meaningless emotionally!

From Chick
This comment is to the anonymous person who posted the comment, "am I doomed to have just sex forever?" Honey, you're not, but there are a few things you have to do to solve this problem.

First, you have to build a foundation as friends with a person. This should be before there is any sexual desire, your goal is friendship.

Second, after a few months, yes, a few months. you should have a good foundation, know your friend's background, dating history, is this person relationship material, or is this person a player. You do not want a player.

Third, if this person is worthy of your attention beyond friendship, which means they have to be a good person, whose respectable and truthful, the whole package, then you can causally suggest a date or innocently flirt with the person in anticipation for a date. This does not mean sex. This is a date. It is part of the solid foundation you are trying to build if this person is worth your precious time, or else, discard this person.

After many dates and this person left in anticipation you should establish an official relationship, but make sure this person is forced to wait for you. Your special and if this person really cares about you, they'll happily wait as long as you want them to. (I was with my boyfriend who I love for just over a year before we committed to having sex, and he was fine with it because to my shock, during our establishing of a foundation, he fell madly in love with me and today we couldn't be happier, but I would never suggest waiting that long, maybe a month to three months).

The fact is, if you want love, this is the most sure fire way to find a long lasting relationship. Why? Because you are getting to know this person and over the course of friendship you discover all those things that either make that person perfectly irresistible or disappointingly not good enough. But, as long as you commit to a good relationship before jumping into bed with someone, I guarantee it won't be just sex, it will be a union for the two of you.

From Anonymous
I have never been in love and I have slept with three people and had naked fun time with about six. I have been in one relationship. This does not add up. I will be the first to admit that it is fun to just have no-strings-attached-feel-good-fun as long as you are protecting yourself physically and emotionally. 

The problem is that I have protected myself a little too much and I feel nothing. I now feel I am incapable of having a relationship or finding love. Am doomed to have "just sex" forever?

From Anonymous
No sex is meaningless. Hey, I find intense, skin-rubbing, back-arching, tummy-slapping pleasure to be quite meaningful! No, I don't believe all sex must go along with deep emotional commitment. Some of the best sex I've had has been totally primal and without strings.

From Shaman
Sex, as with a kiss, may say/mean many different things. It depends on how much you open of yourself and share with the kiss/sex. If you do this for yourself, needing to touch base with certain feelings within you, then do it for what it means to you - it it not to be construed as making love. Do not do it out of pity for the other, unless you feel good about being the Mother Theresa of sexual feelings. The experience may be one you have not had before, and you may need to relate on that level. It is probably more about experiencing yourself than about experiencing the other.

From Ghost Rider
I don't buy the concept of meaningless sex. If it's meaningless, why have it? If you are someone that has a special person in a branch of service or have feelings for that guy or lady that's putting his or her ass on the line in combat that is serving in one of our branches of service, have the decency to wait until they are back state-side before you go out screwing around with whatever you happen to find out there. It is very demoralizing to that person to be trying to help make a safer world for their loved ones and be done this way. 

If you get that itch and can't stand it any longer, go buy a vibrator ladies. If you are a guy and have that special lady in uniform, have an affair with your hand. It will hurt bad enough once the person gets back home but to do someone this way when their butt is on the line is unforgivable. 

From Joe
Sex is meaningless if there is no mental feeling for the other person. Just because there is a physical feeling does not mean its meaningful. I am 24 and have been with about 7 girls in my life. The only one I was not in a relationship with is my first (proud to say that too) If I don't feel something for the person I'm not going to have sex with them.

For the people that need attention get a dog and have some respect for yourself. And I'm not being one sided about this this goes for guys and girls the comparison that a guy is the man if he gets mad chicks a and a girl is a slut is BS. A guy is just as much as a slut as a girl is if he or she sleeps with a lot of people. Also 2 of the biggest issues that people deal who have had a lot of sexual partners #1 and most important STD's and pregnancy (no explanation needed) #2 a lot of the stuff you did will come back to bite you in the ass in future relationships. Ya know like running into an x f-buddy while you with your fiancé wife or husband you all know what kind of an argument that will cause you.

Plus if your reputation as a huchi slut or playa gets out there nobody is gonna want a serious relationship with when you decide to finally calm your hormones and settle down and be with one person cause everyone thinks that your easy or loose and will cheat and in most cases that is true. I've been cheated on and only cheated on girls that have been with 20 plus guys. The girls who had respect for themselves and where in the 10 and under sexual partner category never cheated on me. And I'm proud to say that I will be married in February of 2006 to my fiancé.

And also to say to people that if you haven't experimented you'll get itchy and wanna do something that your wife or husband wont do with you is also BS. With only seven girls that I've been with I have done every sexual position in every possible orifice you could possibly think off. Wouldn't also be nice to do all those new experimental things for the first time with the person your gonna spend the rest of your life with. Now that last sentence to me defines meaningful sex.

From Neville & Kay
'Meaningless sex' sounds very much to me and my wife like the sex we had in the 'swinging sixties' - you'd be at a party and literally have sex with someone without asking, or being told, their name, they and you moving on to partner sexually with at least another two total strangers at the same party. Even after we married in the mid- seventies, both of us were keen not be seen amongst our single friends as 'counter-culture' so we partnered sexually with others. There was nothing 'kinky' about it as in wife swapping or threesomes, it was our desire to enjoy sex and the prevailing culture promoted this attitude.

We gave up partnering sexually with others when we decided to have children. After the second of our children was born in 1978 we decided not to have any more and my wife had a hysterectomy, primarily for health reasons, the risk of unwanted pregnancy removed enabling us to consider returning to our recreational sex days. Most of friends had moved away and our new friends were married couples of our own age and background with families. 

Through some subtle questioning we learnt that two couples were keen to swap partners and thus began our 'swinging' period, the number of couples we knew and swung with eventually enlarging to a dozen, my wife additionally having recreational sex relationships with three single men. That all came to an end in the mid- eighties with the big AIDS scare. 

Today, the two of us remain very married, very much in love and very grounded. My wife is now in her early sixties but looks ten years younger and has, like me, a very enthusiastic and positive attitude to life. She is a VP with a computer company and travels the globe at regular intervals. She doesn't need to ask my permission, nor justify her actions, but if on her travels she wants to engage in 'meaningless' or recreational sex, then she is free to do so, while of course practising safe sex and being safe while having sex with a stranger or work colleague. 

If she opts to tell me of her sexual experiences then it will because she had a threesome with either two men, or a man and a female, invariably younger, invariably strangers but 'known' to her as being part of the computer industry. Whatever the nature of the meaningless sex, if my wife retells her experience then it is a 'bonus' for me and feeds very much into heightening the enjoyment we both derive from our own lovemaking.

From Anon
To me, sex with emotional attachment beats sex without it eight days a week. But I liken it to saying Pulp Fiction is better than Quiz Show. Doesn't mean Quiz Show isn't still a damn good time.

I've never been happier than when I'm having sex with the woman I married. The emotions drive all the pleasures deeper.

The sex I had before her, however, whether with someone I cared about emotionally or not, still resonates. To please another person and to be pleased is just plain fun. I understand if women see it differently -- in most cases, somebody is inserting something inside their body which brings forth a whole different set of issues most men don't have to deal with. Still, what feels good feels good.

It's like slow dancing. You might not love the woman you're holding so close during that spotlight dance. But it doesn't mean she doesn't feel good against you.

From SubtleTalk
For me if it feels good in your heart, then pursue it. I've had plenty of friends that were great sex partners. The thought that we would have tried to make it any more than that never entered our minds.

When I was young, I had one girl that used to climb in my bedroom window. Randomly showing up just to sleep with me and my cock. I was too large for her to take but she loved helping me masturbate, just stroking and licking on it. I would return the favor on her with my hands and mouth. Just feeling the contact of a naked hot body is worth it if your friendship is one of the that nature.

From Pbr
Is it possible ever to consider sex meaningless? By virtue of the fact that human interaction takes place, sex could never be meaningless unless human interaction could be considered meaningless.

The degree of meaning attached to it can be different or distinctive for the persons involved, but it is never meaningless. The degree of significance can be different or the same for either partner but not meaningless, nor inconsequential. Likewise, not having sex falls into the same category. It is not meaningless nor insignificant, presuming that humans have a need for personal attention in varying degrees, and nurturing of different intensities. If it was meaningless, we would all be robots, without feeling.

From Tom
One of the hottest lovers I have ever had the fortune to go to bed with was (and is) a very good friend of mine. We were fairly young (19/20)and I was actually going out with her cousin when we first met and got to know each other. Lets call her Alice. We were on a course and everyone was camping in the grounds of this beautiful big house. (England, by the way) A group of us had a few drinks at the tent I was sharing and as people drifted off, I was still talking to her and my tent-mate was pursuing some other young lady for a good night snog. Well, we talked and talked. She decided to stay the night and we ended up naked and seriously exploring each other. No actual sex. This continued for the next week or so and got hotter and hotter. But still no actual sex. It was meaningless because in the morning it was "Morning, mate. Sleep well?" and we got on with the day.

About 3 months later we saw each other again and this time ended up having sex. Really good sex. She is incredibly open-minded, adventurous and downright filthy in the sexiest and classiest way you could imagine. It was all meaningless, as the next day we could carry on our friendship and the whole sex thing definitely never got in the way.

We would see each other when she was with a boyfriend or I was with a girlfriend, (moved on from her cousin, although still friendly with her) and we could have a few drinks or hang-out with people and never end up in the sack. Other times, we would be off into the bushes, or the restaurant/pub toilets and have a quickie and then go back and join the gang.

We don't do this now. We are both very happily married, but still see each other a bit and we are great friends. The sex thing genuinely never gets in the way. It was a phase in our friendship (about 6 years) and was brilliant. To this day it is the most amazingly liberating I (and she) have ever had. We occasionally mention it to each other and laugh about it, but we know we will never have sex again. It sounds odd, but this is a really secure and important realisation. The friendship is worth everything, the sex was incredible....on one hand it was meaningless, but in the bigger picture, I think it and all sex is meaningful. It may not lead to wedding bells and romance, but if it makes to human beings fell better about themselves and their fellow people, it is definitely meaningful.

From Anonymous
All I have to say is porn is misleading the way sex is, specially in the minds of men. If two people were on an island away from this world from their childhood. Sex would have been sweet for man and women as well.

I hope I am making my point clear. It's what a man sees around and a woman makes them have sex in that way. Knowledge about sex is very good and healthy but sex where a woman insults a man's body and a man woman's is not right way of having sex. Sex is meant to make two people come closer, feel closer ... and to give a feel of care to each other.

Lust leading to intercourse is not healthy, but to show your love to the other person and then it leading to intercourse is the right way. It's the responsibility of the parents to guide their son and daughter of the same. Lets be human in real sense and make it a better world.

I believe man and woman are not different in theory, thought, and thinking. They feel cry get hurt in the same way, it's only how parents bring them up. I wish to get a partner who think and is brought up very much like I am.

From Mark
The best sex I ever had was a so-called meaningless affair. This was 15 years ago now. I was interstate on business and enjoying a couple of quiet beers at a city hotel when I began chatting with an attractive young lady. Helena was blonde, Greek, about 26 years old, or there abouts. We started to hit it off and I invited her to my apartment for the evening.

After 7 hours of incredible sex she finally showered and dressed, we kissed goodnight and that was that. I looked out the window, saw her cross the street, hop into a black Porsche and drive away. The next day I could hardly walk and needed a massage.

All I knew about Helena was she was attractive, in her mid to late 20s, owned a landscaping business, very good in bed, and wonderful company. Some people may call this a meaningless affair and yet it is indelibly etched in my memory. Sometimes meaningless sex is the best kind.

From Barry
Meaningless sex? Yes, go for it, definitely.

Not everyone you meet and have sex with is going to stimulate you mentally, and any man who says he hasn't slept with a women just for the sex is lying.

Other times you can meet a women who interests you both in the cerebral sense as well as the physical sense, and the sex is usually fantastic. I'd say sex is easier if you really like and admire your partner, but sometimes when the sexual opportunities arise when you need them, then you just do it.

I have a female friend who tells me that sex is really the only thing that men and women do well together. Not sure if I agree totally, but I can appreciate what she means by that.

Sex is one of life's experiments. You try all sorts of different things, and having sex with someone just for the sake of sex can be fun ... at times.

I remember driving along one night when I saw a girl hitchhiking. It was late, and I considered it dangerous to see a young girl out on her own looking for rides from strangers. I knew I could be trusted so I offered her a ride. I hadn't thought it could be dangerous for me as well, luckily it wasn't.

She had lost her purse and all her money and was trying to get to her girlfriend's place.

I drove her to her girlfriend's place who luckily for me was an escort, had a very liberal attitude to sex, and convinced the girl I picked up that she should reward me for my kindness.

Totally meaningless sex in every way. It lasted an hour and a half, I enjoyed it and was on my way. Sometimes life is worth taking the odd risk or two.

From Anonymous
Sex with some one other than my husband? Trusting some one enough to get naked in front of them? Fumbling though foreplay wondering how hard is too hard for this particular cock? Wondering weather some of my little tricks are a bit too exotic and whether he's going to think I'm a slut because I know so much? Putting up with a lover that doesn't know what I want? NO THANKS!

From Anonymous
If you have to "think about it"--don't. Unless you have an insanely chemical attraction to this person, or you don't care about him on some level, you'll regret it. Besides, there is that whole "I knew him in high school" thing that just smacks of sex for nostalgia's sake, and that isn't a good thing either. Most people I know wouldn't relive high school for a million bucks. If you want meaningless sex, find someone you'll never see again, or go get the book Extended Massive Orgasm and learn how to have some truly meaningful sex with someone you should love--yourself...

From Delirious?
I've been reading the comments made, and I must agree on the point that there's NO REAL Meaningless sex. As it might not mean anything to you, but to the other half it might mean a lot.

I too have tried a quickie, which was the worse decision of my life, I will never go there again. like J Corvo stated, its a forced connection of chemistry... it doesn't just happen. I've had single sexual experiences with close female friends of mine, we both liked each other, but we also knew that it cannot be more than sex. We are still very good friends, and we do sometimes talk about what happened, and both wish that we can do it again soon, but alas nothing yet. My point is, that quickies don't work, as someone will always get hurt, or be very disappointed. And that can lead to many more issues which no one needs.

And remember "batteries sold separately"  much less complicated...

From Angelinajolie
Usually I'd definitely say you should go ahead and engage in meaningless sex. But if your love interest is in Iraq, at war, in hell, it is really sleazy to cheat on him unless you have some sort of arrangement or open relationship.

From Anonymous
I thought I engaged in some new years meaningless sex with a person I have been avoiding any physical contact with for years...but when I saw him again it wasn't meaningless and now the fun of the experience doesn't seem so fun. I don't think it is possible to truly detach yourself unless you will never see this person again.

From Shane
If your love interest is your fiancé or husband I'd have to say no because it could poison any future relationship with them. You'll have to consider your relationship with your friend as well as an secondary thought. However if you think your relationships will not be affected and you will not feel guilty about it than go for it! Have fun!

From Lotus
Don't do it. It will leave you feeling even more lonely and empty.

From Sabine
If you have to think about it at all, you don't want it bad enough for it to be worth the risks.

Do I think that two people can be so physically attracted that they can enjoy an emotionally detached sex only experience? Yes.

But you can bet they wouldn't be hanging around questioning, "should I?"

And also, if it was really that good, they are going to want more which will eventually cause emotions to come into play.

In your case, I'd stay away from him.

From Jolie
"Love interest?" In what sense? Are you in a committed relationship? If you are, then forget it. If you aren't, then go for it. I'm 41, and I suppose I should have complicated feelings about sex, but I don't. If you're not committed to this guy in Iraq, then go for it.

But given your statement, it sounds like you need to love a person in order to sleep with them. If that's the case, forget it. Wait until the other guy comes back from Iraq.

From Jane Lane
I think its neither indulge or avoid. the word 'meaningless' has to do with a complete detachment of emotions and mood, and to include the word 'sex' would suggest its just action, without communication and any intimacy between the couple. It's sex for the sake of having sex, which, if you're getting to that stage, maybe you shouldn't be doing it at all.

From Anonymous
I tried it once. I won't do it again. That's just my observation. Your mileage may vary.

From jojo
You're both adults. As long as you both know exactly what you want and are honest about it, what's the problem? Have fun whilst you can.

From Helena
Someone much wiser than me once told me, "never do anything, anything at all, that would make your primary partner fall out of love with you, should they find out." That's not just about ensuring that they don't find out - that's about respecting your relationship. Get a toy.

From iris
It depends on what moment in time I am in. At this moment, recreational sex sounds pretty darn good to me. If you choose not to, please pass him my number. Soon.

From Barbara K
Has he tested clean for AIDS? The reason I ask that is if he's contacting you for sex only, then most likely he has other sexual relationships going on too.

Other than that, as long as you know it's for sex only and not a long term relationship, the decision is yours.

From Todd Rowlands
I personally think that you are better off getting you a little latex buddy. They are cheaper and don't come with the hang ups we male fuck buddies come with and are so much more discreet.

This is the male voice of experience talking and fuck buddies can cause so much hassle and trouble if a word is said out of place. Been there done that and it didn't work

That is not to say I wouldn't do it again but hey I am male and I would fuck a snake if someone held it's head as we say down. My number is +61+8+9XXX

Seriously don't do it.... If you want get a large latex buddy.

From Volponia Fox
I like the idea of a vibrator. To me, it's a matter of self-preservation. Risk of STDs aside, will you feel better about yourself, having done it, or not? And from a practical point of view, I have never had the kind of blow-my-brain sex with a casual 'date' that I've had within a relationship, be it with man or toy.

From Jade
In my experience, "Booty calls" are only worthwhile if you really have the hots for the boy-toy in question. If you go for it because you're lonely, horny and he's available and not much else, you might as well stay home with your vibrator.

From Tulsa Brown
This is the question I would ask myself Does he deserve to know me that well? Desire and need make us vulnerable; we are naked in more ways than one. Is this man worthy of that trust? Will he treat it with respect? In a way you will be bare to him forever, afterwards. Only you can decide if it's a worthwhile trade.

From Jane Noel
These are points for everyone who's wondering to ponder. And, why, yes, in my earlier days I wish I'd asked those same questions first.

From Christine
I would probably go for it but I am not you. I know my morals or sometimes the lack of them and know I would not think twice about it. I would not worry about it later. I would not feel bad. But, I am not you. So all of us could tell you that we'd do it but it is ultimately your decision to make. You need to know yourself and know what you'd feel comfortable doing.

From Geneva
I'm agreeing with Christine here. I feel your pain. Mine is in Kuwait and while I'm trying to be good, well.... dammit we have needs too. Make sure you set ground rules up front and that the situation is ok in your mind. If it is, go for it and enjoy.

From Katie
Be very careful. Since, I'm only a few years older than you, thought I'd throw in my two cents. Lonely can put you in a needy state of mind - needy tends to attach meaning where it isn't and complicate. How good is this friendship? Sex between friends can end a friendship. If you're in a relationship now, even if the person is away, this could come back and haunt you. Your friend has been away at college; a lot of guys in college use a woman for another notch on their belt. How many previous partners has he had?

You probably know the condom issue and the STD issue and the previous partners issue, our generation was drilled on this stuff growing up. Take into consideration the possible emotional effect. I've found sex for me isn't meaningless and I've tried to keep it within relationships. I need a strong connection. This might not be true for you. However, if you're taking a poll here, maybe you should hold off and use a vibrator.

From J. Corvo
Can there ever be meaningless sex, or sex without consequence? Forget for a moment the child making aspects and the other relationship aspects and the std aspects and think about what happens when two people come together to exchange fluids.

First and foremost they do exchange fluids. A complex chemical brew of saliva, sweat and shared breath. Imagine for a moment that nature never lets a single thing go to waste. I suspect these fluids and chemicals interact within the bodies of the intimates. At some molecular level they begin to affect the endorphins, and the dopamines and a whole parade of chemical bonds and chains whose names I don't even know.

For what purpose, you might ask. I would suggest that the purpose is bonding the intimates together so that in the event a child comes of the union, it has parents instead of a parent. Now, I can see the fingers poised over the keyboard, bristling with evidence of single parent house holds as evidence that this does not work. Maybe so. Or maybe the social fabric itself is torn and the process does not work as well in a society that is no longer tribal in nature. It does not mean that 3 billion years of evolution can be tossed in less than a few hundred years. What of the feelings of loss when one partner of a quickie fails to call back. Feeling of longing and desire for a rematch that may not happen. At some point other emotions must be brought into play to counteract the initial bonding. Anger, resentment, frustration all provide sufficient toxins to drive out the offending bonds and clear the system so that it is ready for the next coupling.

In my own past, long distant events to be sure, I recall the few quickies I attempted. Forced chemistry and mixing of antagonistic chemicals. The coupling happened. We banged away all night seeking an elusive nirvana. And in the morning dragged our worn bodies off to our appointed rounds. Worn, frayed, and feeling something less than the expected joy. The toxins of chemical mismatch produced a hangover equal to bad tequila and like the tequila hangover, I vowed not to try that again.

On the other hand, the chemical mix of the right constituents created a light show and the desperate desire for more fluids to be added to the mix. Love? My thoughts on the subject.

From Jim
I'm intrigued by the fact that neither Carl nor wife considered fellatio a sexual act. [see entry below]. Not much difference between penis in mouth, and penis in vagina. So why ask for husband's agreement to sleep with potential lover when she already sucked him off - twice. Or is oral sex meaningful, and intercourse meaningless? Go figure.

From Carl
My wife and I had a very interesting discussion a few months back. The subject was extra-marital sex. The reason the discussion came about was simply the attention given to my wife by a new addition to the university teaching staff, a decidedly handsome thirtiesomething whose wife had decided not to move with him, she having some high-powered job on the west coast. 

My wife met him a few times for coffee, then meeting for dinner followed by, my wife informed me, some 'petting' in his car, culminating in her fellating him. In one of those 'happenstances' my wife's admirer attended the same receptions that she and I did one weekend, we bumping into him on both Friday and Saturday evenings, a Sunday brunch and a concert Sunday evening, we inviting him to join us for the post-concert party. 

I was concerned, if not worried, that she and he had moved from the party into the adjacent garden where, my wife informed me later, she again fellated him. She sought my agreement to sleep with him at some early stage. Thus, the point of our conversation on extra-marital sex. 

A late fifties couple, married since the mid-1970s, still in love with no plans to end the relationship but both with well developed interests in sex and sexual gratification. If it is completely possible to deliver that gratification in one, very secure, relationship is there an issue when partners engage in 'meaningless sex' with others? 

My wife slept with her admirer and both got 'it out of their system' her experiences with him contributing much to the very satisfying and enjoyable sex she and I had soon after her return from her moments with her lover.

Perhaps I am a prisoner of my wife's physical attributes combined with her well developed libido but, as she explains, she is not looking for an alternative partner, merely sexual excitement, she admitting that she might be more aroused by the idea of sex with strangers and we should seriously consider swinging with like-minded couples and single men.

From Tee
I cannot agree that for women there can be 'meaningless sex'. Even a hooker has some emotional involvement. For men it it different. Given half a chance I'm sure my husband would fuck any woman he could, and not just the young pretty airheads. 

I don't want to be fucked, I want to be made love to and fortunately on the only two occasions I have had sex with other men (in recent years) they have wanted to make it a experience worth remembering, not a quick bang on a motel bed. Yes, meaningless in that the sex was not part of an on-going relationship, it was opportunistic, but it wasn't the guy shoving his cock inside me and coming in one minute flat. It was, for me, far more wonderful, beautiful and memorable.

From Toni
I recently accompanied my best friend, recently divorced, on a double date, for me a blind date. He turned out to be very friendly, intelligent, funny and, yes, good looking and at the end of the evening I did indulge. He was the perfect lover with much concentration on foreplay, he eventually asking me to roll on his rather handsome penis a condom, something I had never done before with hubby, but doing it with no hitches, like a life long hooker! 

Yes, I went home with mixed emotions but with a very warm glow and a big fan of 'meaningless sex'!

From Flame-haired Goddess
I have recently been having relationship "issues." I am in a relationship which is dying and I haven't slept with my man (or any man) for seven months - until last week. My friend and I picked up two men and went back to their place. I had the hottest, wildest and most meaningless sex of my life. And I LOVED it. Call me what you will, I don't care. I didn't feel used or dirty, I felt great.

Ladies, if you are able to dissociate sex from love, you gotta try this. The power trip itself is worth it. I'm hoping that I've found myself a "fuck buddy" or a "friend with benefits", but if I haven't - I don't care. I had fun and was careful - what's not to like?!

From Mary
I remember the only time I was ever unfaithful was in the early seventies, some meaningless sex with an older guy. I was travelling from London to northern Scotland by sleeper train. In the restaurant car I was taken to a table where another traveller was sitting, a good looking older guy (I was 24 at the time, he was mid-50s). We got on very well, went to the bar to continue our chat, and at 1 in the morning the bar closed he bought a bottle of wine and suggested we go to his compartment. 

We did and had some very enjoyable sex, falling asleep, waking up and going again. I remember to this day leaving his compartment at about 3 in the morning to go to mine, my knickers and tights wet with the guy's cum!

From Steph
I have recently returned to work after being away for five years bringing up my child. I could only get a job as a receptionist but that has not stopped me being the target of half a dozen young male predators. I think any reasonably good looking female with a good figure, in a short skirt, young or old (I'm 37), is seen as a legitimate target by these insistent post-grads who never give up and eventually wear you down. 

So you finally agree to a date, surprise yourself by having a great time, some good sex, and you realise you're back at the coal face, like you've never been away, and the post-work drinks, dinner and sex are all part of getting right that work-life balance. Weekdays are about working hard, playing hard, some occasional meaningless sex, and weekends are for hubby and family. I'm two people - a very strange life!

From NM
One of the best sex I have ever had was with an ex. We remained casual friends after we broke up and spoke occasionally. We always remained attracted to each other, even though he had a girlfriend and I had boyfriend. One day we met for lunch and afterwards ended up making out in my car. The kissing was so passionate that we suddenly needed to have each other. I ended up bent over the hood of my car with him thrusting behind me. I have never felt such wild abandon in my life. And yes, we were still in the restaurant's parking lot, albeit parked way in the back. 

The spontaneity of sex based strictly on lust and desire was mind-blowing. The feeling of him inside of me was even different. I felt fuller than usual. I think it was because the only thing I was thinking about was him inside of me--everything else was blocked out. Although we still cared for each other, I was bent over the hood of the car for no other reason than to satiate our desire for each other. There were no feelings or emotions, just white hot lust. It was just as good, if not better, than any emotion- filled sex I have ever had. 

Afterwards, he went home to his girlfriend and I went home to my boyfriend. And even though I love my boyfriend, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It was years ago but I can still come just by thinking about it while masturbating.

I say go for it. Meaningless sex is great with the right person.

From Mindy
If it is sex between two consenting adults, meaningless or not, and you are comfortable with it than go for it. It is sex, not love making. I am married and my husband and I make incredible love, but we also have fun and sexy meaningless sex with one another. There is a difference between sex and love making. 

So, when I travel and am at a conference or at a sales meeting and meet a guy and he takes me to bed, I know it will be meaningless sex. Meaningless or not, sex is fun...so if I have a had a good meeting or dinner with a sales guy then I don't mind ending the night with some great sex. My thought is this...love making is for the one you love and sex can be with anyone.

From Anonymous
I've had a few one nighters. While it's not something I'd want to do on a regular basis (primarily for health reasons), it was a release that was necessary and felt good. Most of the time, I'm content with self pleasuring during my celibate stretches, but every rare once and awhile, I need to feel a man's hands, mouth and penis on and in me. The heat and sensation of kissing, skin to skin contact and oral pleasure can't be replicated by self- pleasure. Even with penetration, there are angles, etc. that can't be done on one's own.

From Harry
If you've never been in love, then how in the world can you have a philosophy on meaningless sex, based on no experience? [see Brittany's entry below]. I'm not saying you're right or wrong, I am just saying you don't have anything to base your philosophy on. 

I've had both, meaningless sex and I've been head-over-heels in love sex. I think both situations rock. Meaningless sex can be amazingly fine, as can romantic sex. 

My philosophy is: you only live once, so live it to the fullest. There's a time and place for everything.

From Brittany
I think meaningless sex is wonderful! I have never been in love but have had many relationships based strictly on sex. It's a great time without all the worry and responsibility that goes along with relationships. My philosophy is, "you only live once, so make the best of it!"

From Jane
I don't buy the concept of meaningless sex. It all has some point. The sex I have my with my husband is surely the product of our love for each other. But the sex I might have with another man is the result of a different set of circumstances. I could meet another man in a bar, at a conference, sitting next to me on a long haul flight, but as long as my own personal boxes are checked, as in he's witty, sophisticated, humorous, non-aggressive, friendly, engaging and, yes, good looking. If all they come together and we've spent an evening together, then I'm going to be very aroused, relaxed and receptive to his suggestion (if it's made) that we go to bed. 

To me the sex is a very natural and logical conclusion to that evening's course. I'm not in love with the man, he's not in love with me, but the two of us fucking is the very essence of good recreational sex, a superb ending to the evening. To me that is no less meaningless than the love-driven sex my husband and I come together to enjoy.

From Becky
I was in the south of France on a three day business trip when during dinner with colleagues I sent my husband a text telling him how romantic it was and how much I missed him. Back his came, 'if you can't love the one you're with etc'. So I did and text him back, 'sorry darling no wet panties, he wore a condom'. He replied with just one word, 'spoilsport'. I got back, didn't say anything at first but during our lovemaking my telling of my night of passion (twenty minutes actually) with my work colleague certainly turned him on.

From Monica
I'm 43 and I love sex. I love the intimacy of being touched by a man and touching him in ways that bring us both pleasure.

I broke up with my boyfriend last spring and went through a bout of depression. Then decided to try online dating because I thought it would be the easiest way to meet potential dates and if things went well, maybe a long term relationship.

Well I met a wonderful guy and although it took us a while to finally meet in person due to work conflicts, we did and we hit it off in person as well as we did on the phone.

The chemistry was strong and I shouldn't have done it, but I had sex with him on the second date. I've read all of the books about having sex too soon creating a false sense of intimacy, giving too much too soon and that once a guy gets it from you then the thrill of the chase is over, and so forth. I didn't hear from him for a few days, so I emailed him in an internal panic and told him I hoped it wasn't a one time thing and that if nothing else maybe we could be "friends with benefits". Deep down I didn't mean it because I wanted us to get to know each other better and not just in the bedroom. 

Long story short, we've seen each other 4 or 5 times and it's always just sex, with him having an excuse for me to leave. I feel empty afterwards, but still find myself going back, hoping something might change and that he would want us to get to know each other as something more than sex partners. Pathetic, I know! I guess it's the old saying of 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'

Can women have meaningless sex? Maybe some can, but I think most of us are just not programmed for it. We need sex with emotion. We want and need to feel connected to the man we are sharing our body's with.

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