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Senioir friend finderI am in a bit of a dilemma at the moment and I need thesage advise. I have beentalking to a work colleague over the last few weeks and in the course of events itcame up about my single status and not having anything onthe horizon relationship wise. Now I have the possibility of a blind date.

After the last few unsteady, rocky relationships I have become a little gun shy. I have not been on a blind date and do not really know what to expect or if to expect anything. But how often do blind dates go bad? Are blind dates the sign of desperation?  —Penfold 


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From Jenni
 It wasn't so much a blind date as helping my daughter and her husband out of a hole. It was a few years ago now, they had arranged for dinner and a show with a client but the PR girl got a bad migraine and had to drop out. Ignoring my objections they insisted so I was drafted in and it was a lot more enjoyable then I expected. First he was very handsome, mid thirties, twenty years younger than me, very interesting, very friendly, good sense of humor, well versed in the arts and very pleasant company.

After the show my daughter and hubby said their goodbyes while my 'date' suggested we take in some jazz at the bar in his hotel. As I was enjoying his company I had no interest in saying 'no' and after an hour of listening to some very fine modern jazz he suggested we finish the evening in his room. I really didn't know what to say. I wanted to say 'yes' without any hesitation but held back, fearful of any complications. I eventually threw caution to the wind and said 'yes'. I enjoyed some very exciting sex, he was a very accomplished lover and knew how to physically please a female.

I never saw him again but every Christmas he sends me a card.

From Anonymous
Blind dates can be a positive thing and not that different from other ways of meeting people. (don't most such meetings occur through friends or co-workers? Not that different from a blind date)

I met my current partner in 1985 through a "blind date". Not technically a "date", just a co-worker of mine who was a friend of his and she called me one night and said, "hey, I know this guy and you should really meet him!" I said, "Oh no, I've seen too many of your friends!" (true!)

She talked me into agreeing to having him stop by our workplace at the end of the day and (maybe!) giving me a ride home (I usually rode the bus).

Long story short, it was love at first sight for both of us, and we've been together ever since. I don't think either of us was particularly "desperate", but it was a way to meet. We may never have met otherwise.

From David
If you consider personal ads and setups as "blind dates," I have a pretty good track record.

Met my wife on a blind date. Met my previous two girlfriends on blind dates. Met the sexual partners between wife and previous girlfriend on blind dates. My best friend met his wife on a blind date. A close friend of my wife and myself met her fiancée on a blind date.

Desperation? Nah. With personal ads and the Internet cousins that have overwhelmed them, I found a couple of cool things. No. 1, crafting an ad was akin to crafting a little commercial for yourself. It allowed you to show your personality, sense of humor, interests, etc. or to see that in another person (I always steered clear of any ad that said the woman liked "good times." Well, who the hell doesn't? You wasted that space instead of telling me what you consider a good time).

No. 2, you had to talk on the phone before meeting. If I can't talk to someone, why am I going to waste my time meeting them? Even in the hottest relationship, you've got to stop fucking at some point and talk. Doing it over the phone without the distraction of the mutual physical analysis allows the true person to emerge.

I found the people who answered personal ads, got set up on blind dates, enrolled in Match.com or whatever often aren't desperate or physically unattractive (in all the connections I made, only one was unattractive and several were jaw-droppingly attractive). They're interesting people who often don't have the time and/or patience for the usual "dating scene." Sometimes, they don't have the time because they're busy having the experiences that make them interesting.

If I got kicked back into the game tomorrow, I'd be out in the bars and clubs, just to be around people and bathe in the good energies. But I know my chances aren't any better there than on a blind date.

From D
Having been on several blind dates, I recall one five years ago. I was set up by my mother and didn't want to go on the date. I finally convinced myself that it would be nice to have a woman as a friend, and gave this lady a call. The date was nice. We talked all night, then parted. This morning I woke up with the same woman, my wife. Not all Blind Dates are bad.

From Ess
Some 25 or more years ago a blind date led to an 11 year relationship. More recently, on-line personals have led to several "blind dates", only one of which was a "one drink and I'm outta here! Alone!"

I have made several pleasant friends, and met one man where we both agree we feel we've known each other for literally years; we're trying to find suitable partners for each other, but in the absence of such, we pleasure each other whenever we meet.

I think blind dates are GREAT fun and if I'm single in another 30 years time, hope that I'm still enjoying them even from my wheelchair!


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