BDSM

Does pain for pleasure dominate your fantasies?

Let's talk about BDSM, where one partner gets physical pleasure from pain and the other doesn't mind giving it. In a nutshell, the consensual giving of control over yourself to someone else.

The idea of pain for pleasure is offensive to some, and for others the ideal relationships are with individuals who use pain and power to create sexual tension, and pleasure. The questions are: Does the concept of BDSM disturb you? Do you find yourself drawn to BDSM, and if so are you afraid of it—or do you embrace it?

For a look into pleasurable pain...

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From Mike
I love nipple torture while I am being screwed by a female or a male. The more pain, the better I like it, especially from a female, if she bites my nipples, to the point of leaving tooth marks on them. the nipples are sore after wards and that makes it feel even better.

From OldNavyDude
I love BDSM. Top or bottom,with a guy or girl. One thing that really turns me on since I went to my first BDSM group play party in 1997. Nipple torture. Since that time I have stretched and pierced my nipples and they are an instant turn on. When my top has me tied up and weights suspended from them while he or she screws my ass makes me light headed. There is a direct connection from my nipples to my balls.

So tie me up, tie me down, just make it hurt! My biggest complaint with my wife is that she is too easy. Harder, Harder HARDER is a recurrent theme.  But in the right mood, she can be a mean bitch. The meanest is when she turned me out at a play party to be used and abused by every willing cock. By the morning, I was reamed out and couldn't talk from having my mouth force fucked. As I have said before, I do love the taste of cum.

From John
Interesting that the majority of entries here are from women, and those are pro BDSM. There's a dearth of male input, and those are mostly con views. And here I am adding to the status quo: There isn't anything in the BDSM line-up that attracts me as either doer or receiver.

I discussed it with my wife (married 23 years), concerned that perhaps she might be hankering for a spanking, domination (either way) or some such. Her response: "no, no, and no" to which I say thank goodness! I love this woman.

From Lisa
Started trying some BDSM when in my early twenties and it grew from there. I do not want a gentleman in bed when it comes to screwing. I want to be dominated fully and a little pain makes it better. I have enjoyed being peirced and have had both nipples and both labias peirced by a lady friend. Nipples hurt but was also enjoyable. I was tied down while having them done, which was awesome! I love most BDSM and am scheduled for a whipping soon.

From JCR
My reaction to BDSM is a lot like my reaction to French liqueurs: sometimes mind-blowingly gorgeous, sometimes distinctly queasy, often an interesting mix of the two.

Power-play in itself, as a general rule, doesn't do much for me. (I'm excepting, obviously, the playful spanking and sensuous soft-bondage that every good lover should have in their repertoire.)  And I find it positively hard to deal with the sight of a human body being in some way distorted, as in some forms of rope-bondage for example.  But the fact is, restraint is sexy; and I love the theatricality, the ritual and the straight-out decadent flamboyance of some BDSM porn, which you just don't see elsewhere. 

Incidentally, a few people have spoken about the importance of "equality" in a relationship, and I totally agree.  (It's one of the added bonuses of being a lesbian, that you don't necessarily have that pre-packaged baggage, but that's a whole other story.)  Sometimes I've been with people who use admittedly light, almost vanilla BDSM to actively pursue that: for example, it's rather liberating knowing that a lover who's several rungs further up the academic hierarchy than me is perfectly welcome to dominate me in meetings, provided she's aware of finding her ass over my knee once the working day is over....

From Kalliannassa
I love Lisabet Sarai's response. [see Lisabet's entry below]  I would also like to add as my 2 cents, Bondage and Domination do not equal nor require pain.  By definition bondage is being tied down which is not required to be uncomfortable, and yes domination is a matter of will.  In my real life I teach, which means corralling and herding and shepherding 10-35 teenagers at a time down the path of learning for that day.  In effect, I have to dominate their will to -chat, text, draw, sleep, eat...  Somedays I'll confess to getting a kick out of inducing compliance, particularly when that means I psychologically out manuevered a clever kid and they know it... In other arena's I crave submission.  I like not making the decisions, and being along for the ride.  Sometimes I think I would enjoy being challenged to see what I would submit to, but not in a painful way, for me it really is the mind game, but game is so not the word there.

I discovered this partially through the fiction of Jacquiline Carey, and partially through, of all things, ball room dance lessons.  For the curious but faint of heart female this is an interesting lesson, because to dance really well is to trust and follow your partners lead.  I loved that part of dancing.  Complete submission - no pain, assuming of course your partner is already an expert.  Gentlemen, of the dom persuasion feel free to try it, but the latent emale dom/male sub, I find I have no other easy vanilla in... please someone correct me on that.

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